Obviously dating in this 'day and age' is a lot different than it was 10, or even 5, years ago. People rely so much more on texting, email, online dating, BBM, Facebook...the list goes on. In today's world, very rarely do I have phone conversations with anyone, aside from my family, and even then I am more likely to send them an email than dial the phone.
The problem is that texting with a new love interest just doesn't compare to speaking with them on the phone. Sure it's easier, quicker and you can edit what you say rather than bumble and fumble your way along, but it removes almost all of the personality from the conversation. When you don't really know someone, those first few phone convos can really tell a lot about that person, the chemistry between you, and what a potential date could turn out like.
The other problem is making plans through texting just doesn't mean the same thing as when you speak with someone. I've done it myself, with both guys and friends - we'll text about some vague plans, and if I'm not feeling it that day, I don't usually have a problem with sending a text to suggest a rain check. However, to cancel plans after specifically speaking about the date or girls' night, and putting time into the past phone convo(s), it becomes a much bigger deal, and a bigger disappointment for the other person.
I think this goes back to the "he's just not that into you/you're just not into him" concept. If you really were into each other you'd probably make an effort to talk on the phone rather than text - I know people can say people are shy/afraid of getting rejected so text is an easy option and technology was invented for a reason, but as someone who can't feel emotion through a text/email and someone who overanalyzes the shit out of things I say i'll pick up the phone if i really like you and please pick up the phone if you really like me. 100% agree on the chemistry thing over the phone but I also like to talk on the phone, so I do think the chemistry in person is also obviously key as well. It makes it less nerve wracking to have the phone convos before a first date.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends on the people. That works for some, doesn't for others. Personally, I met my boyfriend on the internet, spent the first few months texting and talking online and the chemistry was definitely there. I know this doesn't happen for everyone and the chances are slim, but we both agree now that HAD we talked on the phone initially before all the text/online convos, it probably wouldn't have worked out because we're both too shy/nervous and it would have been a disaster.
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