Short Skirts: Inapprorpriate for the Office & Life

On my previous couple posts: Maybe I shouldn't blog after a couple beers and some intense life discussions with my buds. Just saying. Hope you enjoyed the ride on the roller coaster that is my life.

On another note...have you noticed the alarmingly large number of women (often older women) who are wearing inappropriately short skirts (maybe the bottom half of a skirt-suit) to work?? Lucky for me this isn't a common occurrence at my office, but I count at least 3 incidents each morning on my commute. There's nothing attractive about a mini-skirt that's supposed to be a knee-length skirt. It's not the early 90's and awkward skirt-suits should be a thing of the past.

Money

How come money is such an issue in our society? And not only that, but it plays a huge role in our relationships, job choices, and controls who we spend our time with. Do vast earning differences really affect a relationship? How do you handle a significant other who can't afford to do the things you want to do? Do them without him? I can't help but think that leads to you growing apart. And that seems like the perfect situation to meet another 'Mr. Right' who has the same interests as you, and can afford to pursue them.

Questioning my Motives

Since I'm questioning moving in with my BF quite a bit, I wonder why - am I just too logical of a person or is there a real reason why I don't want to commit to it? Even he pointed out that you can't be completely risk-averse with something like this. There is a certain point where you have to commit to your choice and take the good and bad that comes with it. After an annoying night I wonder why I'd ever be crazy enough to give up my place. Not to mention my ongoing thoughts on travel, money, and future plans. I have always believed that if the relationship is for real and it's a good one, you'll move in out of love and excitement. Some of those things seem to be missing for me as I make this decision.

Making Decisions

I like to take things slow in relationships, at least I've felt this way for the past few years (can't speak to my more sporadic behaviour 3-4 years ago!). However sometimes things happen that force us to make decisions or have serious discussions before we may be ready. Think: talking about moving in together because someone loses their job. Or maybe moving away together because a great opportunity came up for one half of the couple...when maybe the original plan was to consider moving 3 years down the road.
I do think that if the relationship is a good one, and you really feel like he's a good match for you, you'll find a way to make it work. It is tough though when things unexpectedly come up. I feel like sometimes these big decisions, made a few months early, can risk the relationship. But, that said, if it's meant to be sometimes it's just meant to be...maybe moving in together a year earlier is a bit tougher at first but it shouldn't be enough to break a fabulous relationship.

What You Should Do

I read a great quote by a really cool author yesterday and wanted to pass it along:
"How do you boost self-discipline? Do the things you know you should do but don't feel like doing!"
How obvious is that? But I totally need to hear that. I can't even tell you how often I don't go to the gym, don't read those books I wanted to, or eat something that is not only bad for me, but makes me feel horrible later. I believe that going that extra step to actually DO what you know you should (and want to) do makes the difference in life. Everyone must have their wild, irresponsible moments, but if you can do more of what you know you should do I'm certain you will feel better about yourself. I'm really trying to take this to heart, and may even track my successes (and failures) via this blog.

What Changes?

Remember back to the early stages of your current/last/any relationship. Remember how you didn't really care that much? I know for me, I always seem to spend the first few weeks or months feeling like the guy is super lucky to be with me, and I'm so confident that he couldn't find anyone better in the world. I feel as if he should feel lucky that I even returned his call, and I never really care whether I hear from him or don't.
Then something changes.
Months later, it's me wondering if he'll meet someone else because there are so many cute girls out there. I wonder if he misses his ex-girlfriend or if he found things about her more attractive. I'm not saying I freak out about this all the time (I do have my moments) but I find it interesting that there's a point in every relationship where my attitude changes without me realizing it. I guess it's related to how much I like the guy - at the beginning I don't really care either way, but later it would be upsetting to find out he did in fact like his ex better, for example. OK I'm going to stop thinking about this now...

Logic vs. Love

We've all had that friend who tells us about a boyfriend who's a jerk sometimes (all the time) and we give her advice that she's too good for him and should get rid of him. We question why she's staying with him and why she cannot see that he's cheating on her. We realize that she'd be so much better off with someone else, or even alone. Yet, when the tables turn, do we follow our own advice? NO. When you're in a relationship it's funny (but not haha funny) how logic seems to disappear. I've even been in circumstances where I have known that I was being illogical in deciding to stay with someone. Yet admitting dumb behaviour doesn't mean I changed it.
This is something to keep in mind when giving advice to friends - we all know how much easier relationship advice is to dish out than it is to follow yourself. When it's you in the relationship - remember that passion is a good thing, but don't let it blind you so much that you become completely illogical.

Pantyhose

Do some companies still require women to wear pantyhose at the office? No matter what season? I keep seeing girls - and I mean girls...or young women at the oldest - wearing pantyhose even though it's summer. Who would ever choose to wear them?

Getting Comfy

How do you avoid getting 'too comfortable' with someone after dating for a while? Getting comfortable is an upside to a long-term relationship, because that's when you can really be yourself and get close to another person. I hear quite often of relationships that just fizzle out though...and I've experienced it too. I guess doing the 'little things' can help...there definitely does seem to be a negative correlation between length of relationship and flower deliveries in my experience. What else do you do to keep things exciting? I think you still need to make some effort to look good, go on dates, and show them that you're happy to spend time with them. Sometimes I take it for granted that my BF will be around when I want him to, so I make plans all week with others. I think relationships get a bit of a boost when you put special time aside and make sure that person knows you really value special time with them. OK I'm a cheese ball but as I hear of more and more relationships fizzling out I value your input as to what works to combat this.

Congratulations!!

My good bud Kristin just gave birth to her first (and my first as a close friend) baby, yesterday morning! Both mom and baby are doing well and I'm so proud of her, and really excited to meet the little munchkin. I kinda had that flash of 'wow that's such a huge thing, maybe this is what life is about' today, like maybe I should do something important...but then I thought about the incredible amount of responsibility that came out with that little girl, and I think I'll stick with my fairly meaningless life for a while longer.

How Things Change..

It always surprises me how much life can change in a short period of time. A certain boy, formerly important to me but no longer even a close friend, messaged me the other night to tell me about a house he was looking at buying. It had special meaning to me - around 5 years ago we'd talked about wanting to buy a place just like it, in the Manitoba country. This boggles my mind a bit.
He is a really great guy (one of the few that I know) and it makes me shake my head when I consider how differently my life could have turned out. I feel like I might have been happy for a year or two, living a low-key, semi-country lifestyle, but chances are I would have become bored. I feel like I was made to live in a big city, but can't help but wonder if I became that way because I moved here?! Who knows. All I know is I'm happy with how things have turned out, and have no regrets. I may have been really happy with this person, living in Manitoba, but that's not the route I took so I'm going to try to enjoy this one as much as I can!

Do It Now

Too often we talk about doing things and don't act on it. I am especially guilty of planning things to the smallest detail, worrying about all possible (but often unlikely) outcomes, talking myself out of something and stressing out before acting on it (if I can convince myself to act on it...). I really think there's something to be said for following the motto 'Less Talk, More Action'. I've also heard people say that sometimes you have to run before you can walk. All these are true in a lot of cases.
Whether this refers to starting a new business venture, booking a trip, taking a course/designation or moving to a new city - these things are huge decisions, but once you've weighed the pros and cons there is not a lot left to do. By no means am I telling you to rush into things, but remind yourself to 'Do It Now' when you're wasting time and delaying your own satisfaction. You're probably scared, but we only have one life...might as well take great opportunities as they come.

The "F" Word

Kelly Clarkson was on TV tonight, and I can't help but wonder if she got kinda fat. I know that women everywhere argue society's expectations of women, and we're supposed to love girls no matter what. I know that the media has created an unnatural image of women, and that being bigger than a size 2 really is OK. But I can't help but think that she's gained a lot of weight...and she just doesn't look as great as she used to. I am not saying she's any less of a singer, but that's what I notice about her now, and blame it on the media, but I just don't think she's quite as fabulous anymore.
You can hate me for this...I just think I'm saying what a lot of people have been thinking.

Nothing Like It...

I swear there is nothing like a solid patio night with a close girlfriend, or girlfriends. I just had a good 4 hour-long catch up, wine-drinking, chat session with a friend of mine, and I feel fabulous. Maybe it's the house white talking, but spending a few hours outside, in the sun, with a great girl is something that just can't be compared to. There's no eye-rolling, annoyed feeling that seems to be inevitable when you're out with a guy. There's no first-date pressure or awkwardness. And you can gossip about all the passing guys and girls to your heart's content. Don't forget about your girlfriends - no matter what your marital status/dating situation/mood...it's so important to have some quality girl time in your life. The older I get the more that means a few hours on a patio, and less hours in a club.