When is the right time to introduce your BF to your parents? When would you hope you'd be introduced to his family? Most importantly, at what point of non-introduction should you start to worry about your relationship? In my mind, a guy should be proud and happy with you and be excited to introduce you to his family. After all, what parent wouldn't be happy to meet the smart, pretty and confident girl dating their son? When he starts avoiding the subject, lying to his parents when he's with you, or making plans to visit with his parents without you (repeatedly), there might be a greater issue at play.
There are some circumstances, however, where maybe you don't want to meet the parents. Maybe you had a very different upbringing from your BF and can sense some potential conflicts with his 'rents. Sometimes it's just nice to keep parents and their opinions out of the equation, at least until you know for sure how you feel about the relationship. After all, since most of us live on our own at this stage, there is no need to meet the parents on the first date like in grade 12.
I think there is a lot of focus put on 'meeting the parents' - some girls don't consider the relationship to be the real deal until there are weekly family dinners or trips home to their native cities (with BF in tow). This is fine, but be careful what you wish for - relationships are tricky enough without factoring 4+ more people into the mix!
I've been reading a book called Think Like a Man, Act Like A Lady (or reverse, same deal), and it dealt with this issue a bit. I've been wrestling with this because I'm in a relationship with someone who isn't close to their parents, while I'm closer than most people my age. I've felt pressure from my 'rents to bring him over and let them meet him, while he has no interest whatsoever (aside from the fact that it would make me feel a bit better). On his side, his parents don't live in the province, and when they did come to visit, it was quick and I didn't meet them. It kind of irked me but not really - if he's not close, I don't expect to be close to his fam either.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, this book says that if he's really into you, he'll be super eager to show you off to his parents, and be fully into meeting yours, because he wants to know everything about you (including where you come from). BTW, He's Just Not That Into You says the same thing. So now....I feel somewhat less than terrific, because these books are telling me he's not really the guy for me - or he doesn't see me as the gal for him.
But again, think about where you are in life, what age you are, what you want from a relationship....I mean, are we really looking for The One right now? Does it matter that we don't meet his 'rents and vice versa? Are we wasting our time with someone who isn't The One or are we just having fun and learning in the process?
In the end, I guess it's whatever we want to make of it.