Mixer

One of my favourite dating shows employs 'mixers' to introduce the matchmaking clients with their potential dates. Basically a 'mixer' is a cocktail party where people have a chance to chat and get to know each other in an informal and low-pressure situation. The biggest benefit versus a traditional blind date or set-up is that you don't have to suffer through a dinner date with a complete stranger who you know is not a match for you ten minutes after shaking his hand.

I've decided that I'm going to throw my own version of a mixer, so look for your invite soon. There are a few reasons I want to throw the party, and I already have the perfect location picked out!

- I love parties

- I have many single friends who don't know each other and could potentially hit it off

- My single friends are hot, fun, smart and all-around great catches

- I enjoy getting many friends and acquaintances from different circles together in one room

- This will make for a great chapter in my book

Computer Usage

During university I met a very cute guy at the bar one hazy Friday night. After a fun first night we got together a few days later for what would be our first date. Since he was somewhat of a procrastinator, and cheap, he claimed to be unable to take me out because he had a distance-ed assignment due the following day. Being the innocent, undemanding girl I was, rather than telling him to call me back when he had some cash and time, I offered to hang out with him at home, and to help him with his assignment if need be. Wow was that desperate - at the time I just thought I was being nice (and that he was REALLY cute).

Turned out, not only had he not done the assignment, he was basically computer illiterate. The fact that I spent more than three hours typing his dictated answers should have been a clear warning to stay away from this guy. Who settles for that on a first date, and better yet, what university student doesn't know how to use Word? Needless to say the rest of the relationship consisted of many more "stay at home dates" and more than a few tutoring seshes. The lesson from this - run away from anyone who doesn't know how to use a computer.

Textual Relations

The number one best way to avoid disastrous situations is to have some great girlfriends who will not be surprised or angry to receive random text messages. I have always been a fan of texting; random texting being my specialty. Of course there is drunk texting, often fueled by evil intentions, but I've been known to enjoy sober, semi-flirtatious TM's, even in daytime hours. Of course these mistakes can lead to short-lived fun, but there are situations when these messages are major no-no's. By having a friend who you can send anything to, from "I'm bored at this lame event" to "I'm thinking of texting (insert ex's name here)...", you can save yourself a lot of embarrassment and anguish. If you don't have this friend, add me to your contacts - it's great enjoyment to be on the other end of those TMs.

Like a Rock

We all go through tough times - whether it's a nasty boss, evil acquaintances, job loss or a sick parent, it seems that people are dealing with tough things more regularly today (ack dare I say it? It may be a sign of getting older). One of the nice things about having a significant other is that they can be there for you in tough times. They are that person who considers you extra-special, and will step in no matter what. In my mind a BF should be there to listen, offer up a ride to the doctor's office, or stay up late helping you investigate new job opportunities.

They need to be there, and during these times their issues take second place. They're minor problems are just not that important for the time being. And for the record, the same goes for you when he is having problems.

Although I do not wish bad times upon anyone, many relationships are strengthened during times of trouble, as it's when people's true colours really show. And if your BF is pouting or selfishly whiney when you're going through a tough time (I'm not talking about minor issues here...the weekly spat with your dramatic girl friend does not count) think seriously about your future potential. After all, there's only more tough times up ahead.

Leave...For Everyone's Sake

A male friend of mine just spent an hour telling me about a girl he's been spending time with, and he is unsure of where their relationship is going. After a bit of coaxing (after the second beer there was no stopping him) he made it pretty clear that he knew where the relationship was headed - nowhere. He told me that he likes spending time with her, has fun with her, enjoys having her there to "just hang out with and watch a movie" and is hopeful that things will become intimate sooner rather than later.
The last point wasn't surprising - he is a man under the age of 70 after all - but what did confused me is why he likes all these things about her but still doesn't want to actually be with her. Even he couldn't clarify what it was, or wasn't, about her that made him sure he didn't want to date her seriously. If that`s truly the case, whatever the reason, the bottom line is he needs to leave her alone. Leave. Scram. Get outta dodge. No question about it, this girl is attached and he's hurting her more every time he answers her calls. I might have to make a follow-up phone call this weekend to see if he's listened to his dating coach...