Textual Relations

The number one best way to avoid disastrous situations is to have some great girlfriends who will not be surprised or angry to receive random text messages. I have always been a fan of texting; random texting being my specialty. Of course there is drunk texting, often fueled by evil intentions, but I've been known to enjoy sober, semi-flirtatious TM's, even in daytime hours. Of course these mistakes can lead to short-lived fun, but there are situations when these messages are major no-no's. By having a friend who you can send anything to, from "I'm bored at this lame event" to "I'm thinking of texting (insert ex's name here)...", you can save yourself a lot of embarrassment and anguish. If you don't have this friend, add me to your contacts - it's great enjoyment to be on the other end of those TMs.

Like a Rock

We all go through tough times - whether it's a nasty boss, evil acquaintances, job loss or a sick parent, it seems that people are dealing with tough things more regularly today (ack dare I say it? It may be a sign of getting older). One of the nice things about having a significant other is that they can be there for you in tough times. They are that person who considers you extra-special, and will step in no matter what. In my mind a BF should be there to listen, offer up a ride to the doctor's office, or stay up late helping you investigate new job opportunities.

They need to be there, and during these times their issues take second place. They're minor problems are just not that important for the time being. And for the record, the same goes for you when he is having problems.

Although I do not wish bad times upon anyone, many relationships are strengthened during times of trouble, as it's when people's true colours really show. And if your BF is pouting or selfishly whiney when you're going through a tough time (I'm not talking about minor issues here...the weekly spat with your dramatic girl friend does not count) think seriously about your future potential. After all, there's only more tough times up ahead.

Leave...For Everyone's Sake

A male friend of mine just spent an hour telling me about a girl he's been spending time with, and he is unsure of where their relationship is going. After a bit of coaxing (after the second beer there was no stopping him) he made it pretty clear that he knew where the relationship was headed - nowhere. He told me that he likes spending time with her, has fun with her, enjoys having her there to "just hang out with and watch a movie" and is hopeful that things will become intimate sooner rather than later.
The last point wasn't surprising - he is a man under the age of 70 after all - but what did confused me is why he likes all these things about her but still doesn't want to actually be with her. Even he couldn't clarify what it was, or wasn't, about her that made him sure he didn't want to date her seriously. If that`s truly the case, whatever the reason, the bottom line is he needs to leave her alone. Leave. Scram. Get outta dodge. No question about it, this girl is attached and he's hurting her more every time he answers her calls. I might have to make a follow-up phone call this weekend to see if he's listened to his dating coach...

David vs Goliath...in Skirts

This actually happened to me: I was at my university gym, working out when a giant girl (or at least a giant compared to me) knelt down in front of the machine I'm sitting on, so that she's looking me in the eye. I was on a shoulder-press machine, so there was not an easy way to move out of my spot with a beast crouched in front of me.
She proceeded to tell me that she's the Ex (or in her opinion, Current) GF of my BF (not today's BF...). She told me that they were still hooking up, and that he told her I was "a crazy b**ch who always messaged him and would not leave him alone". Ummmm OK. So while my male gym partners, completely oblivious yapping to each other on the stationary bikes nearby, left me to fend for myself, I tried to explain that we really were dating and I didn't know anything about their relationship. She literally had me cornered and I was forced to listen to her for ten minutes, while my desperate glances to the cardio section were ignored.
At the time I totally questioned my BF, and he of course claimed she was crazy and offered to buy me dinner (a huge win with this deadbeat) and so I forgave him, and chalked it up to jealously and cattiness. Of course things did not end there and the remaining few months of the relationship were nothing less than tumultuous. OBVIOUSLY.
Today it is a great story, although a bit depressing that I ever spoke to either of them again. The funny part was where following our work-out and my sharing the story, my friends said "Hmmm we were wondering who that girl was - you seemed kind of annoyed.". Thanks for having my back guys.

Time Limit

All girls should declare a mandatory two-hour time limit on first dates. Some safe ideas that adhere to this rule are a coffee date, dinner or even better lunch, or a walk around the beach or boardwalk. If it's a good date, you'll be tempted to continue on to the next location, which often leads to returning to someone's home and bad news bears from there. Or the alternative is you have a fun time over lunch and decide to continue the adventure, but after the fourth hour you get tired of the person. After all, you may have only just met this person and may not have a lot to talk about, be uncomfortable in each others company, or you may not have compatible personalities early on.
By calling it a night (or day) early in the date, you appear to have a full and busy life (which you do!), and you will leave your date feeling anxious to see you again. Your date, and most importantly you, will end the date with a happy feeling and look forward to the next outing. This is much better than the alternative of ending an otherwise great date with a bad taste in your mouth when things go sour in the fourth, fifth, or sixth hour of a marathon date.

Substitute Boyfriend

My favourite storyline in He's Just Not That Into You was the one with Scarlett Johansson and Kevin Connolly. You might not specifically remember this as it wasn't close to being the juiciest storyline, but it really hit home with me. Basically Scarlett Jo is using Kevin Connolly's character as a substitute boyfriend while she was single. She spent time with him, cuddled, shared intimate thoughts and when she met someone new and spicy, all but stopped seeing him.
A lot of women do this, either during a dating drought or when their current relationship isn't providing everything they need. Often women use a man subconsciously - we tell ourselves that we're just close friends and care about each other, but when a new boyfriend comes along your calls to your 'guy friend' are going to decrease dramatically. No question. Not only is this unfair to your male friend, but it's not healthy for you.
Maybe you're single and calling this friend every evening or exchanging daily emails, almost in the way that a couple would. This means that your friend is filling the void that comes with being single. Not that I want single women to be unhappy, but when this void is filled (temporarily) this makes a woman much less likely to head outdoors to find Mr. Perfect. The other common scenario is a woman who uses a male friend to survive a poor relationship. Picture a woman phoning her friend on the way home from spending time with her real boyfriend, who upset her or couldn't be bothered to help with a problem. If this is the case, why be in a relationship with someone who is driving you to tears or can't satisfy your most basic emotional needs?

Average

I am convinced that there are thousands of average single girls out there, and frankly it worries me a bit. What do I mean by average? It's nothing bad, not at all. In fact, average is just what it means - the norm. Average girls are good looking but not head-turning hot, fun and friendly but not the life of the party. I know a lot of girls who fall into this category, and they're great girls who deserve nothing but love and happiness.
Surprisingly, or maybe not so, a lot of these girls are single. Men want that superstar woman - either smokin' hot or the loudest party girl in the bar (or I'm sure both is preferable to them). It seems that very unstylish or quiet, reserved people seem to match up - they know what 'group' they belong to and what they want. On the other side of the coin the unbelievably good looking pair-up to ensure the population is replenished with Godliness. That leaves the average. Unfortunately men don't seem to understand that an average girl, although often not as flashy, can be very special and sparkly in her own way.