I'm trying something new - let's call it a one-week challenge. Each time I look in the mirror, which is a lot (I have a lot of mirrors in my apartment including my kitchen backsplash), I have to smile and tell myself I'm pretty while focusing only the positive. I realize this is totally a challenge made for an adolescent but I know that I need it.
After just one evening of following these rules I already feel better about myself. No more negative self-talk or being my own toughest critic. No more picking apart how bad I look - even if my hair is messy or my stomach is especially mushy - I have to focus on the positive and smile at myself for at least a few seconds.
Feel free to make fun of me for this cheesy challenge, but I also encourage you to try it and update me on how it goes for you! I promise your confidence will increase making you feel happier and sexier!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
The Dating Coach
I want to become a dating coach - I think that's my new career goal. The way I look at it, my MANY years of bad relationships and frustrating scenarios have to go towards something. I have experienced and learned so much, I want to be able to pass on my learnings to my friends and future clients. As I build my empire, please feel free to volunteer yourselves and your stories in order to help me gain experience and of course provide material for my blog and books.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Picky Picky
Girls are so tough on guys. A lot of women think that guys are overly picky, too shallow, or only like big boobs, but in reality I think it's the females who are the picky ones. How many times have I heard of girls ending things because the guys are too competitive or they make funny noises when they chew? A guy may be a great potential life partner but because he's under 5'11" or wears glasses he just doesn't cut it (even when the girl is 5 feet tall).
We love guys who have great jobs and are committed, but don't like competitiveness or guys who are too 'driven'. We want a guy to be close with his family but get freaked out when they're too close with their mom. I think we need to relax a bit on the expectations. By no means am I suggesting women settle but maybe we should deal with a few minor annoyances, and keep them in perspective, in order to have a great partner for the next 20, 30 or 40+ years.
We love guys who have great jobs and are committed, but don't like competitiveness or guys who are too 'driven'. We want a guy to be close with his family but get freaked out when they're too close with their mom. I think we need to relax a bit on the expectations. By no means am I suggesting women settle but maybe we should deal with a few minor annoyances, and keep them in perspective, in order to have a great partner for the next 20, 30 or 40+ years.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Beauty Queen
My latest guilty pleasure is Toddlers & Tiaras, the show following beauty pageant contestants on TLC. It's simultaneously disturbing and amazing, like a car crash that you can't help but stare at. I wonder what my life would be like if my parents had entered me into crazy intense American beauty pageants as a child, instead of sending me to gymnastics and soccer games. As it is I'm semi-obsessed with fashion, make-up and style even though I spent most of my childhood & adolescence in a demanding sport.
Then there's the issue of parental support and guidance - the favourite line of the parents in this show is "she is a four-year-old and she's a difficult child so I just let her do as she pleases". I'm pretty sure if the four-year-old me told my mom off just one time she would have smacked me, and rightfully so!
Then there's the issue of parental support and guidance - the favourite line of the parents in this show is "she is a four-year-old and she's a difficult child so I just let her do as she pleases". I'm pretty sure if the four-year-old me told my mom off just one time she would have smacked me, and rightfully so!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Shudder
The other day I had a flashback to a dirty comment made by an ex-BF of several years ago. I'm not sure what prompted the flashback but what was most disturbing was my reaction to the memory. I literally shuddered.
I remember the moment in question clearly - my BF at the time and I were at a movie screening and I was wearing a cute skirt that I was hoping he'd appreciate (I was so eager to please...). As we sat down for the movie he made a comment re: the skirt.
Even at the time I was just embarrassed, more so for him, and I felt really uncomfortable. It did not turn me on at all and in fact had the opposite effect.
This flashback reminded me of two important things. 1) I don't like dirty talk and 2) when a BF makes you shudder it's probably a pretty clear sign that things aren't meant to be.
I remember the moment in question clearly - my BF at the time and I were at a movie screening and I was wearing a cute skirt that I was hoping he'd appreciate (I was so eager to please...). As we sat down for the movie he made a comment re: the skirt.
Even at the time I was just embarrassed, more so for him, and I felt really uncomfortable. It did not turn me on at all and in fact had the opposite effect.
This flashback reminded me of two important things. 1) I don't like dirty talk and 2) when a BF makes you shudder it's probably a pretty clear sign that things aren't meant to be.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Doing Things My Way
Our generation has grown up with the idea that it's cool to get married late, you don't need to have kids to be a success and it is totally acceptable to be single after the age of 25. I love this (especially since I totally fit into that demographic) and I think there are some great things about dating in your late twenties and beyond.
Unfortunately the common problem I see with dating at a more mature age (I'm not implying that anyone is old!) is that we're all so set in our ways. I know I'm making it sound like we're 72, but even at 27 I have my own ways of doing things, I know exactly what I like and what I absolutely will not deal with. This can be helpful in narrowing down the search for Mr. Right, but when you're starting out in a new relationship it can mean a lot of butting heads. Simple tasks like washing the dishes, choosing a restaurant and driving to a date can cause major disagreements and a lot of "why are you doing it that way"s. In my mind it's never going to be avoided - we've all been around for 25+ years making our own decisions and trusting that they're the right ones. What's important is that the man you're with respectfully questions you and your actions, in order to learn more about you with no hint of condescension or criticism anywhere nearby.
Unfortunately the common problem I see with dating at a more mature age (I'm not implying that anyone is old!) is that we're all so set in our ways. I know I'm making it sound like we're 72, but even at 27 I have my own ways of doing things, I know exactly what I like and what I absolutely will not deal with. This can be helpful in narrowing down the search for Mr. Right, but when you're starting out in a new relationship it can mean a lot of butting heads. Simple tasks like washing the dishes, choosing a restaurant and driving to a date can cause major disagreements and a lot of "why are you doing it that way"s. In my mind it's never going to be avoided - we've all been around for 25+ years making our own decisions and trusting that they're the right ones. What's important is that the man you're with respectfully questions you and your actions, in order to learn more about you with no hint of condescension or criticism anywhere nearby.
Monday, May 3, 2010
It's Been Awhile...and Random Thoughts
I haven't posted forever...I'm sure that you're all heartbroken after missing my random stories and dating advice for an entire month! Things have been busy, and maybe I just haven't been as dating-crazy as usual? Wow something must be wrong!
I'm back at it and May has brought on some new goals - think of it as a New Year's Reso beginning May 1st as opposed to January 1st.
I'm officially training to run my second half-marathon in June, and I've decided to actually train in order to a) avoid major embarrassment and b) avoid any sort of heart failure along the route.
I'm working my hardest to cook more, bring my lunch to work and eat healthy snacks...I'm even cooking now as I write!
I have two trips and one (important!) visitor this month, and I'm going to do all I can to fully enjoy it all. It's going to be busy, and stressful, but I know it will all be a great time!
I'm really working on slowing down, taking deep breaths, and enjoying every day. Sometimes I find that I've been barely breathed for several minutes or that I'm rushing when I don't need to. No more!
Random thoughts, but I feel that by listing my goals here, I have several people holding me accountable!
I'm back at it and May has brought on some new goals - think of it as a New Year's Reso beginning May 1st as opposed to January 1st.
I'm officially training to run my second half-marathon in June, and I've decided to actually train in order to a) avoid major embarrassment and b) avoid any sort of heart failure along the route.
I'm working my hardest to cook more, bring my lunch to work and eat healthy snacks...I'm even cooking now as I write!
I have two trips and one (important!) visitor this month, and I'm going to do all I can to fully enjoy it all. It's going to be busy, and stressful, but I know it will all be a great time!
I'm really working on slowing down, taking deep breaths, and enjoying every day. Sometimes I find that I've been barely breathed for several minutes or that I'm rushing when I don't need to. No more!
Random thoughts, but I feel that by listing my goals here, I have several people holding me accountable!
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