Girls are so tough on guys. A lot of women think that guys are overly picky, too shallow, or only like big boobs, but in reality I think it's the females who are the picky ones. How many times have I heard of girls ending things because the guys are too competitive or they make funny noises when they chew? A guy may be a great potential life partner but because he's under 5'11" or wears glasses he just doesn't cut it (even when the girl is 5 feet tall).
We love guys who have great jobs and are committed, but don't like competitiveness or guys who are too 'driven'. We want a guy to be close with his family but get freaked out when they're too close with their mom. I think we need to relax a bit on the expectations. By no means am I suggesting women settle but maybe we should deal with a few minor annoyances, and keep them in perspective, in order to have a great partner for the next 20, 30 or 40+ years.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Beauty Queen
My latest guilty pleasure is Toddlers & Tiaras, the show following beauty pageant contestants on TLC. It's simultaneously disturbing and amazing, like a car crash that you can't help but stare at. I wonder what my life would be like if my parents had entered me into crazy intense American beauty pageants as a child, instead of sending me to gymnastics and soccer games. As it is I'm semi-obsessed with fashion, make-up and style even though I spent most of my childhood & adolescence in a demanding sport.
Then there's the issue of parental support and guidance - the favourite line of the parents in this show is "she is a four-year-old and she's a difficult child so I just let her do as she pleases". I'm pretty sure if the four-year-old me told my mom off just one time she would have smacked me, and rightfully so!
Then there's the issue of parental support and guidance - the favourite line of the parents in this show is "she is a four-year-old and she's a difficult child so I just let her do as she pleases". I'm pretty sure if the four-year-old me told my mom off just one time she would have smacked me, and rightfully so!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Shudder
The other day I had a flashback to a dirty comment made by an ex-BF of several years ago. I'm not sure what prompted the flashback but what was most disturbing was my reaction to the memory. I literally shuddered.
I remember the moment in question clearly - my BF at the time and I were at a movie screening and I was wearing a cute skirt that I was hoping he'd appreciate (I was so eager to please...). As we sat down for the movie he made a comment re: the skirt.
Even at the time I was just embarrassed, more so for him, and I felt really uncomfortable. It did not turn me on at all and in fact had the opposite effect.
This flashback reminded me of two important things. 1) I don't like dirty talk and 2) when a BF makes you shudder it's probably a pretty clear sign that things aren't meant to be.
I remember the moment in question clearly - my BF at the time and I were at a movie screening and I was wearing a cute skirt that I was hoping he'd appreciate (I was so eager to please...). As we sat down for the movie he made a comment re: the skirt.
Even at the time I was just embarrassed, more so for him, and I felt really uncomfortable. It did not turn me on at all and in fact had the opposite effect.
This flashback reminded me of two important things. 1) I don't like dirty talk and 2) when a BF makes you shudder it's probably a pretty clear sign that things aren't meant to be.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Doing Things My Way
Our generation has grown up with the idea that it's cool to get married late, you don't need to have kids to be a success and it is totally acceptable to be single after the age of 25. I love this (especially since I totally fit into that demographic) and I think there are some great things about dating in your late twenties and beyond.
Unfortunately the common problem I see with dating at a more mature age (I'm not implying that anyone is old!) is that we're all so set in our ways. I know I'm making it sound like we're 72, but even at 27 I have my own ways of doing things, I know exactly what I like and what I absolutely will not deal with. This can be helpful in narrowing down the search for Mr. Right, but when you're starting out in a new relationship it can mean a lot of butting heads. Simple tasks like washing the dishes, choosing a restaurant and driving to a date can cause major disagreements and a lot of "why are you doing it that way"s. In my mind it's never going to be avoided - we've all been around for 25+ years making our own decisions and trusting that they're the right ones. What's important is that the man you're with respectfully questions you and your actions, in order to learn more about you with no hint of condescension or criticism anywhere nearby.
Unfortunately the common problem I see with dating at a more mature age (I'm not implying that anyone is old!) is that we're all so set in our ways. I know I'm making it sound like we're 72, but even at 27 I have my own ways of doing things, I know exactly what I like and what I absolutely will not deal with. This can be helpful in narrowing down the search for Mr. Right, but when you're starting out in a new relationship it can mean a lot of butting heads. Simple tasks like washing the dishes, choosing a restaurant and driving to a date can cause major disagreements and a lot of "why are you doing it that way"s. In my mind it's never going to be avoided - we've all been around for 25+ years making our own decisions and trusting that they're the right ones. What's important is that the man you're with respectfully questions you and your actions, in order to learn more about you with no hint of condescension or criticism anywhere nearby.
Monday, May 3, 2010
It's Been Awhile...and Random Thoughts
I haven't posted forever...I'm sure that you're all heartbroken after missing my random stories and dating advice for an entire month! Things have been busy, and maybe I just haven't been as dating-crazy as usual? Wow something must be wrong!
I'm back at it and May has brought on some new goals - think of it as a New Year's Reso beginning May 1st as opposed to January 1st.
I'm officially training to run my second half-marathon in June, and I've decided to actually train in order to a) avoid major embarrassment and b) avoid any sort of heart failure along the route.
I'm working my hardest to cook more, bring my lunch to work and eat healthy snacks...I'm even cooking now as I write!
I have two trips and one (important!) visitor this month, and I'm going to do all I can to fully enjoy it all. It's going to be busy, and stressful, but I know it will all be a great time!
I'm really working on slowing down, taking deep breaths, and enjoying every day. Sometimes I find that I've been barely breathed for several minutes or that I'm rushing when I don't need to. No more!
Random thoughts, but I feel that by listing my goals here, I have several people holding me accountable!
I'm back at it and May has brought on some new goals - think of it as a New Year's Reso beginning May 1st as opposed to January 1st.
I'm officially training to run my second half-marathon in June, and I've decided to actually train in order to a) avoid major embarrassment and b) avoid any sort of heart failure along the route.
I'm working my hardest to cook more, bring my lunch to work and eat healthy snacks...I'm even cooking now as I write!
I have two trips and one (important!) visitor this month, and I'm going to do all I can to fully enjoy it all. It's going to be busy, and stressful, but I know it will all be a great time!
I'm really working on slowing down, taking deep breaths, and enjoying every day. Sometimes I find that I've been barely breathed for several minutes or that I'm rushing when I don't need to. No more!
Random thoughts, but I feel that by listing my goals here, I have several people holding me accountable!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Bridezilla
There's a Rich Bride, Poor Bride marathon on today, which in turn means I'm having a hard time getting anything accomplished. If you haven't seen this show, it's one hour of following a couple as they plan and prepare for their big day. The focus is on the budget and (usually) how they completely blow it, but it also makes an effort to point out the couples' flaws and makes them look a bit ridiculous.
As I watch the show I shake my head and think about how when I'm a bride I will not be crazy, bitchy or unorganized like these women. But in reality, who knows. I'm sure when there is so much pressure on making that day great, and when family and friends get involved in the planning, any woman could turn into a crazy bride. There are so many people to please and so many things you're 'supposed to do' it's hard to do exactly what you want, and remain cool while doing it.
On that note - an apology far in advance. Although I will do my ultimate best to avoid Bridezilla tendencies, if I do get married one day please understand my mood swings and potential outbursts are not personal.
As I watch the show I shake my head and think about how when I'm a bride I will not be crazy, bitchy or unorganized like these women. But in reality, who knows. I'm sure when there is so much pressure on making that day great, and when family and friends get involved in the planning, any woman could turn into a crazy bride. There are so many people to please and so many things you're 'supposed to do' it's hard to do exactly what you want, and remain cool while doing it.
On that note - an apology far in advance. Although I will do my ultimate best to avoid Bridezilla tendencies, if I do get married one day please understand my mood swings and potential outbursts are not personal.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Happy and Satisfied
As young women we're always focused on what else is out there, assuming we can always get something better. Maybe 9 things out of 10 on your list of desirable man qualities are there, but because your current guy is weak in one (most likely unimportant, shallow) area you're willing to ditch out when the next guy walks past.
I definitely don't think any woman should settle, but because your BF doesn't have the best dinner party banter or enjoy grocery shopping as much as you'd like, does that mean you can't be happy with him?
Not to be depressing, but as time goes on this nagging feeling probably lessens, as your options become less as the number of candles on your cake increase. But for young women, we like lists of 30, 40 or 50+ traits that all have to be met in order to begin to be satisfied. I encourage you to re-evaluate you list, and remember that being satisfied and happy is not the same as settling.
I definitely don't think any woman should settle, but because your BF doesn't have the best dinner party banter or enjoy grocery shopping as much as you'd like, does that mean you can't be happy with him?
Not to be depressing, but as time goes on this nagging feeling probably lessens, as your options become less as the number of candles on your cake increase. But for young women, we like lists of 30, 40 or 50+ traits that all have to be met in order to begin to be satisfied. I encourage you to re-evaluate you list, and remember that being satisfied and happy is not the same as settling.
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