Hey Mariah

I like Mariah Carey. I enjoy her music, and lately have been semi-obsessed with her album E=MC2. It's odd when you consider her success though. She has been uber-successful, topping the charts with a record number of singles, selling bazillions of records, and appearing in ads, movies and videos. I mean it's odd because she's openly been involved in several suspect relationships, produced and starred in a horrific movie, and is infamous after her very public emotional breakdown a few years back. Not to mention her terrifying boob job(s).
But to her credit (and my surprise), she releases a new album, and fans are lined up to buy it. Instead of discussing any one of the questionable choices Mariah has made over the years, fans are giggling, screaming and insisting "she's back".

Platonic Friends...Cont'd

As previously discussed, I have a few male friends, who really are 'just friends', at least in my mind. One of these friends has made some hints of his romantic interests, several months ago. We don't spend much time together anymore, but after clearing things up, and him dealing with some of his own personal issues, we're back to being legitimate friends. No hit-ons to worry about.
My BF knows a bit about what went down between us, and obviously doesn't like this guy very much. The problem - I miss chatting with the guy, and would like to hang out with him for a beer. The questions I find myself asking - Do I give up on the friendship because it makes my partner uncomfortable (and justifiably so)? Do I get together with him but lie about it to my BF (I'm a bad, guilt-ridden liar)? Or do I tell my BF the truth, and deal with the consequences?
As I"m writing this, I can guess the right answer. When I ask myself if my relationship is worth ending (should it turn into a HUGE fight) for this guy...absolutely not. But do I have to end a friendship for a guy? I didn't think I'd ever be one to face this type of situation.
I don't like lying, and I think it's a slippery slope that I don't want to take the first step towards. I'm happy to hear your input, but for now, I think I'll cancel our plans for Thursday...

Tact...an Amazing Thing

A couple days ago, while discussing the finer points of life with one of my bosses, he asked some questions about my current relationship. Not that it was any of his business, but he asked if I thought my BF was "the one". Of course I have no idea - I'm happy with him, but we haven't dated that long, and I'm really enjoying living on my own and doing whatever I want, in no rush to settle down. Also, as I explained to him, there are many things in my life I still want to do, and I'm not sure he'll want, or be able to, do them with me. My boss then proceeded to quote He's Just Not That Into You, of course upsetting me. It's one thing if a close girlfriend tells you that, or if things had been going poorly with the relationship and I suspected it myself already. But for someone completely outside the relationship, with a sprinkling of information to use those harsh words...brutal.
I spent some time wondering what qualifies him to be able to tell me something like that. But what really perplexed me, was how he thought saying that would NOT upset me. As I teared up, he started back-pedalling, and asking even more questions about my feelings for my BF. Needless to say, things were awkward for the next 1/2 hour or so. I give his wife a lot of credit, because obviously he has not learned much about tact. Or at least about how to deal with emotional young women.

Love Shop

A while back I went to a Love (Sex) Shop with a couple friends. I worked to maintain my composure while we wandered through the store wide-eyed, often with tilted heads and quizzical looks on our faces. I happened to notice a middle-aged couple getting a guided tour through the vibrator section. No exaggeration, a tour. The worker was showing them different models and describing the pros and cons of each. In the end, they didn't buy anything, but thanked him for the introduction and time and promised to return.
What gets me is how they got there. Were they sitting around at the end of a dinner party with a few of their coupled friends, finishing off their wine and dessert, when the Sex Store on Yonge Street came up? Maybe their friends recommended that they check it out, just as if it was a new restaurant in the theatre district. Or did they discuss it one day over breakfast, and decide to make some changes to their sex life? In that case, I gather they were on a tour of sex stores around the city, feeling them out before they made a big purchase. Or perhaps it was merely entertainment, and they have a favourite store uptown, but this provided the similar benefits of a pub crawl, minus the hangover.
Either way, I'm sure they're enjoying their new-found excitement, and I'm thankful to be provided with a distraction from the human-arm-sized sex toys.

Crying

I cry a lot, and anyone who knows me can attest to that. I think as a species, women tend to cry a lot. Call it hormones, call it negative self-talk, call it PMS...when we hit a rough patch, often our first instinct is to cry. The thing is, crying is often not an option and even when it is, it's usually not a very good one. Think work, a public place, in front of someone you're trying to impress. When you do break down and cry in front of your co-workers, your landlord, or your boyfriend's parents, you have to work that much harder to regain their respect when the waterworks have stopped.
If I find myself starting to tear up, I try to tell myself to suck it up. I don't know when I began believing it is ok to cry about everything, but I will not let myself become one of those people who spends half their life blubbering about something.
For those times when you really do just need a good cry, go somewhere private, give yourself 5 minutes to sob (quietly if it's a bathroom stall) and move on.
Take the high road and I promise you'll love yourself more.

Alumni Event

I am going to an alumni event for my university on Friday, and to be totally cliche, I'm wondering what to wear, if I'll be good enough, successful enough, etc etc. The kicker is I met my ex 2.5 years ago at the same alumni event. I didn't know him when we were at the same university, but we met at the downtown Toronto hotel in 2006 and hit it off. Turns out we only dated for about 4 months, but when things ended I was left feeling sad and a bit stunned.
I'm assuming he'll be there on Friday. And I'm really hoping I can see him and look great. What to wear, what to say...the stress of it all. The good thing is I have absolutely no desire to ever in a million years date him again. I'm in a happy relationship with a much more understanding, fun, and exciting guy. Plus, this ex is a bit of an ass. Yet I still want him to regret saying goodbye to me.
So I've picked out my outfit and I'm hoping I'll finally be able to look good in front of him. Of the 3-4 times that I've run into him since breaking up, I've been totally caught off guard. One encounter was at a subway station, with me wearing a pom-pommed toque and bulky coat, and another was at my part-time job, where I was wearing a not-so-flattering uniform. Although somehow when I imagine our encounter, I am 6 inches taller, 10 pounds thinner and with longer, blonder hair...all of this by Friday.
I'll let you know how it goes.

Making Choices

I often find myself feeling flustered because I 'must' attend two parties in one night; while working late, exercising and trying to save money. As girls we put so much pressure on ourselves to be there for everyone, attend everything we're invited to, and maintain fabulous relationships with boys, friends and family, and even with random acquaintances.
Parties and social events are supposed to be fun, not something that we dread or think up excuses to miss. I never want to be that friend who cannot be relied upon, and I'm not suggesting skipping out on your friends' big days. However, taking some time for yourself, to have a lazy night at home, or snuggles with your guy, is ok. When you stop and remind yourself that you don't 'have' to do anything, it helps put everything in perspective, and parties will stop being social obligations and start being parties.