Coffee Date

There are an unusually large number of young, attractive, potentially available people at downtown Starbucks throughout a day. I'm sure this is why so many people in Toronto go there to "read" or "write". The turnover is also so quick that you could find yourself sharing a table with several attractive men in the span of an hour.

I always hear stories of people meeting a cute stranger at Starbucks. The other day I spent an hour at a downtown location waiting to meet a friend, and a cute guy sat in the comfy chair across from me. Although a few furtive glances were exchanged we continued focusing on our respective activities until he left 20 minutes later.

It got me wondering - how do you make the move to start talking with a stranger? Gone are the days of asking for the time (I had my phone in my hand) and I don't smoke so no asking for a light outside. The chairs were spaced quite far apart so although we could have made great eye contact, we would have been near yelling to hear each other. In the past I have commented on a guy's book if it's something I recognize, but in this case I don't know how to pronounce Sudoku, let alone complete one.

I guess I'll have to work on my small talk, develop some questions about the 'area' (could I ask for directions?) and improve my eyelash batting. Yes, maybe that will work.

There is an "I" in Selfish

Long-term relationships are great. It's wonderful to have someone greet you who's interested in your day when you come home after a rough day at work. Relationships mean always having a date for weddings, birthday parties and business functions, not to mention the benefits of snuggles every night and regular 'relations'. Unfortunately, more so for some, long-term relationships also mean compromise.

For those of us who are selfish, these relationships are especially challenging. Being in a committed relationship means compromising on all sorts of things - where you live, when you take your holidays, what money you spend, whose family you visit and which parties to attend. While you may no longer be the only one responsible for making dinner, you also aren't the only one who gets to choose what to eat. When life is getting you down and you want to move away or try your hand at adventure travel, you have someone else to consider. When you want to return to school or try a career change, you may be hesitant to take on additional debt or move to a new city.

Although these things sound petty, live with someone and you'll soon miss the freedom that comes with being single. Call me selfish (I've already accepted it) but I'm looking forward to choosing my next apartment location, taking a trip for an extended period and going for drinks with anyone I want, ex-BF's or mysterious male acquaintances included.

Closing Time

A few years ago I was totally hung up about never wanting a good night out to end. I think most of that anxiousness is due to years of build-up and anticipation for attending clubs - when it finally happened I couldn't get enough. I always felt like the night didn't get good until close to 1am, and we had to be home by 2am so that didn't make much of a night.
When I got a bit older the after-parties were the best part of my Saturday. This might have been a group outing to Perkins or someone's place nearby. Often the after party was in the guy of the moment's basement, followed by a walk (or taxi ride) of shame a few hours later. Several times I ended up in sticky situations because I didn't want the night to end. More than once, I decided to head with a friend to a post-bar party with a few guys rather than call it a night with the reassurance that I'd be back at the bar in a week. I was lucky that nothing bad ever happened, but I know that my enthusiasm for continuing a great night put me in some sticky situations to say the least. I've learned that rarely does anything better happen after 2am, especially when you don't know your fellow partiers' last names.