Today is my 26th birthday...and it's been basically 3 days of celebration for me. It is times like this that make me realize how lucky I am. My mom came out to visit me in TO for a week and a half, so she's here today cleaning the kitchen (she made a few lasagnes for my freezer) before she takes me out for dinner. I got very kind and loving birthday cards from family and friends, as well as so many messages, emails and phone calls. I celebrated at a wicked cool bar on Saturday and had a great turn-out - which is especially meaningful because this isn't my hometown.
It makes me appreciate that I have so many people in my life that care about me, and I'm reminded that no matter what happens with boys, work, school or anything else, those people will be there for me. We spend so much time focusing on negative things - we want to lose weight, be taller (or shorter), richer, smarter, the list goes on and on. But when you stop and take a look around you, life really is pretty good, and it's the people in it that matter the most.
My challenge to you - take just a fraction of the effort that you spend worrying about the negative things in your life, and put it into your relationships with friends and family. This might mean phoning your parents, sending a card to someone on their birthday, or telling someone how much you care about them. It might feel a bit awkward at first, but I am confident this will lead to a richer, more fulfilling life, and in turn make you happier. I know this is on my list of 'things to do when I'm 26'.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Platonic friends
I've recently had arguments with a few friends over platonic friends (of the opposite sex). Do they exist? Can guys and girls really JUST be friends? Does one sex have an ulterior motive in the relationship?
I have a couple of really close guy friends. We've been friends for years, and never had any sketchy encounters or situations. We've even slept in the same bed, when intoxicated, and still maintained our pillow barrier. One of them even invented "the flop", where he could strategically flip over when I was beside him, without coming close to touching me. That might be a bit extreme, but my point is we've been friends through thick and thin, bfs and gfs, and I hope we will always be there for each other.
My theory is friends who are friends b/c you dated and things didn't work out, or you hooked up when you were drunk, or you think they're hot...are not platonic friends. I know a lot of girls have plenty of these 'friends'. And maybe nothing at all will ever happen, but the fact that you want it to, means the relationship isn't innocent.
People have made the argument that when you are in a serious relationship with someone else, it's OK to have friends of the opposite sex, because there's no 'chance of anything happening' or basically no pressure. But is it fair to your significant other? Are they jealous, or does it cause them a lot of stress when you spend time with your friend? If that's the case, is that fair to you? No one wants to date a super jealous person!
If neither of you are in a relationship, the problem could be either a) one person wants to 'take things to the next level' or b) you both want to, you try it out, it doesn't work, and then there goes the friendship.
I can argue this all day (obv)...I'm happy to hear your thoughts and opinions on this matter.
I have a couple of really close guy friends. We've been friends for years, and never had any sketchy encounters or situations. We've even slept in the same bed, when intoxicated, and still maintained our pillow barrier. One of them even invented "the flop", where he could strategically flip over when I was beside him, without coming close to touching me. That might be a bit extreme, but my point is we've been friends through thick and thin, bfs and gfs, and I hope we will always be there for each other.
My theory is friends who are friends b/c you dated and things didn't work out, or you hooked up when you were drunk, or you think they're hot...are not platonic friends. I know a lot of girls have plenty of these 'friends'. And maybe nothing at all will ever happen, but the fact that you want it to, means the relationship isn't innocent.
People have made the argument that when you are in a serious relationship with someone else, it's OK to have friends of the opposite sex, because there's no 'chance of anything happening' or basically no pressure. But is it fair to your significant other? Are they jealous, or does it cause them a lot of stress when you spend time with your friend? If that's the case, is that fair to you? No one wants to date a super jealous person!
If neither of you are in a relationship, the problem could be either a) one person wants to 'take things to the next level' or b) you both want to, you try it out, it doesn't work, and then there goes the friendship.
I can argue this all day (obv)...I'm happy to hear your thoughts and opinions on this matter.
Standing out in a crowd
I have a big meeting today at work with the senior execs. I'm not a 'key player' at the meeting, I think I was invited as a 'thank you' for doing a lot of work (is that really a reward??). In situations like this, I fight with myself on what to wear. Of course I was going to wear a formal business outfit, a suit of some sort. I opted for black pants, black blazer and white tank with minimal jewellery. I think I look professional and well-dressed, but I definitely wouldn't stand out in a crowd.
When you go to networking events, business meetings & dinners, formal parties or fundraisers, ask yourself, would you rather stand out in the crowd or blend into the background? I think there's a fine line, especially as a woman, but I can make a great argument for standing out. You don't want to look trashy, unprofessional, or inappropriate (I'm picturing fishnets and one too many buttons undone). But I think wearing something bright, or a bit different, can have the same effect as being a great speaker or working a room really well. As a young(er), confident, fabulous girl, try wearing something a bit different next time you get invited to something. Even if it means some big chandelier earrings, or red lipstick, try being the one to stand out, and see where it gets you!
Good advice...so why am I wearing this outfit...?
When you go to networking events, business meetings & dinners, formal parties or fundraisers, ask yourself, would you rather stand out in the crowd or blend into the background? I think there's a fine line, especially as a woman, but I can make a great argument for standing out. You don't want to look trashy, unprofessional, or inappropriate (I'm picturing fishnets and one too many buttons undone). But I think wearing something bright, or a bit different, can have the same effect as being a great speaker or working a room really well. As a young(er), confident, fabulous girl, try wearing something a bit different next time you get invited to something. Even if it means some big chandelier earrings, or red lipstick, try being the one to stand out, and see where it gets you!
Good advice...so why am I wearing this outfit...?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Birthdays
My birthday is coming up...anyone who knows me probably knows that since I've been talking about it for months. The frustrating thing is planning a birthday party. Usually I love doing this, but this year, I've felt a bit of extra pressure, and I've definitely worried too much about pleasing other people. I always feel a bit of pressure b/c to me, the worst thing that could happen would be people showing up to a slow bar, and saying "why are we HERE???" or something to the effect. I organize birthday parties so people have a good party - it's a good excuse for people to come out, and a good chance to see friends you don't always manage to see.
I know the boys (and probably some girls) in my life were getting frustrated with me and my incessant questions, 'what-ifs', and location alternatives. In the end I picked a fun bar (Parkdale Drink for those of you in TO) and I'm sure it will be a fun time. I guess this is more of a 'thank you' to my friends, you know who you are, who had to listen to my whining...and a plea to boys everywhere to try to understand when we stress about small things like this. Once in a while, we just HAVE to sweat the small stuff!
On another note...I always think birthdays are a good time to look back and think about the year past, as well as set some goals for the coming year. I guess it's like your own personal NYE. I realized I did some pretty amazing things: travelled Europe & Middle East for 6 weeks last summer, dated a few (not so great guys) and met one great one, grew a bit at my current job and had some really fun part-time jobs, made new friends and got closer with existing ones.
What I hope I accomplished, and what's become most important to me, is being a good daughter, sister, family member, as well as a caring, sympathetic, supportive & fun friend. I know that's what I'll be focusing on for year 26!
I know the boys (and probably some girls) in my life were getting frustrated with me and my incessant questions, 'what-ifs', and location alternatives. In the end I picked a fun bar (Parkdale Drink for those of you in TO) and I'm sure it will be a fun time. I guess this is more of a 'thank you' to my friends, you know who you are, who had to listen to my whining...and a plea to boys everywhere to try to understand when we stress about small things like this. Once in a while, we just HAVE to sweat the small stuff!
On another note...I always think birthdays are a good time to look back and think about the year past, as well as set some goals for the coming year. I guess it's like your own personal NYE. I realized I did some pretty amazing things: travelled Europe & Middle East for 6 weeks last summer, dated a few (not so great guys) and met one great one, grew a bit at my current job and had some really fun part-time jobs, made new friends and got closer with existing ones.
What I hope I accomplished, and what's become most important to me, is being a good daughter, sister, family member, as well as a caring, sympathetic, supportive & fun friend. I know that's what I'll be focusing on for year 26!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
This book is about 10 years old, but I recently borrowed it from a friend (thanks CP!) and am totally loving it. Check it out - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Dont-Sweat-Small-Stuff-Its-Richard-Carlson/9780786881857-item.html?ref=Books%3a+CWBAB+Hero
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Dont-Sweat-Small-Stuff-Its-Richard-Carlson/9780786881857-item.html?ref=Books%3a+CWBAB+Hero
Feeling Blah...
Do you ever have those days or nights when you just feel BLAH? That's totally me today...and every few weeks I have one of those days. I've learned a few things that I hope will help you deal with the blahs:
- Spend some time alone - you're not going to be any fun to a friend and you know a guy is going to get on your nerves as soon as he walks in the door! Spending time alone lets you pig out (try Brie...yum), wear comfy clothes, and go to bed early!
- Work out or go for a walk - even though you might not feel like it, the endorphins and fresh air will work wonders.
- Read some chick-lit - it's an easy read, and reading about the capers of some other fabulous chica will make your situation seem so much better.
- Write in a journal - this is helpful all the time, but especially when you're feeling down. You can say things to your journal that you wouldn't dare tell even your closest friends, and sometimes it helps to look back at what you wrote at a happier time to cheer you up.
- Get some sleep - often you're just over-tired and run-down, so a good night's sleep can make a world of difference.
- When all else fails...eat some junk food. Just try to limit how much you eat (ie. not the ENTIRE tub of ice cream) so you don't have major regrets the next day!!
Remember that we all have those days and nights, and as my mom would say "things always look better in the morning".
- Spend some time alone - you're not going to be any fun to a friend and you know a guy is going to get on your nerves as soon as he walks in the door! Spending time alone lets you pig out (try Brie...yum), wear comfy clothes, and go to bed early!
- Work out or go for a walk - even though you might not feel like it, the endorphins and fresh air will work wonders.
- Read some chick-lit - it's an easy read, and reading about the capers of some other fabulous chica will make your situation seem so much better.
- Write in a journal - this is helpful all the time, but especially when you're feeling down. You can say things to your journal that you wouldn't dare tell even your closest friends, and sometimes it helps to look back at what you wrote at a happier time to cheer you up.
- Get some sleep - often you're just over-tired and run-down, so a good night's sleep can make a world of difference.
- When all else fails...eat some junk food. Just try to limit how much you eat (ie. not the ENTIRE tub of ice cream) so you don't have major regrets the next day!!
Remember that we all have those days and nights, and as my mom would say "things always look better in the morning".
Saturday, March 21, 2009
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Sports lover
One of the things that I've come really interested in recently is sports. My family is pretty sports-obsessed so I've always followed professional sports to an extent, but not to the same extent.
Here are a few reasons why sports are amazing to watch/follow as a woman:
A good majority of professional athletes are sexy as Hell
Live games are exciting, fast-paced, and there's plenty of beer/food to consume
There are a lot of hotties that ATTEND live sporting events and/or watch games in bars/pubs
It makes for a great, impressive opener with the hottie watching the game beside you at the bar/pub
It's totally current events - you'll never be at a loss for something to chat about at a cocktail party, dinner party, office lunch, meeting, or date
A great way to meet new people and connect with friends is by hosting/attending championship or playoff parties
Guys love a girl in a jersey or ball cap
Here are a few reasons why sports are amazing to watch/follow as a woman:
A good majority of professional athletes are sexy as Hell
Live games are exciting, fast-paced, and there's plenty of beer/food to consume
There are a lot of hotties that ATTEND live sporting events and/or watch games in bars/pubs
It makes for a great, impressive opener with the hottie watching the game beside you at the bar/pub
It's totally current events - you'll never be at a loss for something to chat about at a cocktail party, dinner party, office lunch, meeting, or date
A great way to meet new people and connect with friends is by hosting/attending championship or playoff parties
Guys love a girl in a jersey or ball cap
Friday, March 20, 2009
Blackberry(s)
Many people in Toronto (and the rest of the world) are obsessed with their Blackberry, Iphone, etc. My question is - why do girls try to wedge their faces between his and the phone screen, in order to gain attention? Check out King St on a Thursday night - drunk, hot girls fighting with Smartphones for attention from drunk, rude guys. Honestly, if they're more interested in their last email or playing Tetris (or w/e game they have on there), eff them.
I know a lot of girls who have Smartphones too, but from what I can tell they usually show enough respect to put them away when in the company of others. Thank you.
I know a lot of girls who have Smartphones too, but from what I can tell they usually show enough respect to put them away when in the company of others. Thank you.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
St. Patty's Day Shenanigans
Yesterday was St. Patty's Day, and I, like most people, celebrated at a bar downtown. Everyone's drinking, people are having fun, dancing, mingling, spilling beer. Then I noticed something that needs addressing here...
At the side of the dance floor was a couple; semi-dancing but more so looking longingly into each other's eyes. Well, the woman was looking AT the guy, trying to get him to return her gaze. Now, I don't blame this woman, we've all done it. I think the main issue at play here was the fact that it was St. Patty's Day, notoriously one of the drunkest nights of the year. He didn't seem interested in anything BUT drinking and wearing silly green attire.
What killed me was when I saw her dancing "provocatively" in front of him, and he still wasn't paying attention. WHY do we do this to ourselves? He wasn't showing much interest, and was obviously distracted, so instead, she TRIES to look attractive by squirming around drunk, when she wasn't much of a dancer anyway. I think the woman should have stood tall, drank a beer, and joined in the fun. Plenty of other cute guys out there to dance with, or maybe try hanging with your guy, just having fun and stop fighting for attention. You can't always be front and centre...
At the side of the dance floor was a couple; semi-dancing but more so looking longingly into each other's eyes. Well, the woman was looking AT the guy, trying to get him to return her gaze. Now, I don't blame this woman, we've all done it. I think the main issue at play here was the fact that it was St. Patty's Day, notoriously one of the drunkest nights of the year. He didn't seem interested in anything BUT drinking and wearing silly green attire.
What killed me was when I saw her dancing "provocatively" in front of him, and he still wasn't paying attention. WHY do we do this to ourselves? He wasn't showing much interest, and was obviously distracted, so instead, she TRIES to look attractive by squirming around drunk, when she wasn't much of a dancer anyway. I think the woman should have stood tall, drank a beer, and joined in the fun. Plenty of other cute guys out there to dance with, or maybe try hanging with your guy, just having fun and stop fighting for attention. You can't always be front and centre...
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