Passion Partay

Last night I finally hosted my first Passion Party. My friend Lesley is a wonderful Passion Consultant, and she explained and demo'd everything from grooming products, sensual massage creams and warming lubricants, then finally onto the big players - sex toys.

There was a lot of giggling but to my surprise very little embarrassment. I suppose it's a result of Lesley's open, friendly, knowledgeable demeanor, plus the super cool group of girls who attended. Girls called out questions and shared stories on everything from their "size", their preferences and what products they're currently enjoying in their bedroom. The group was an even mix between single and paired-off women, and I think everyone found it informative, exciting, helpful and fun. While I was concerned that it might not be a very profitable night for the Consultant, many people purchased items and most openly discussed what they bought (usually purchases are made in a private area).

I had a great turn-out for my party, and thank you to my friends whose purchases lead to a great deal on the products I purchased! What I expected to be a bit of a joke, and possibly lewd or uncomfortable, turned out to be a great way to spend a Friday night with wine, friends and girl talk.

I definitely encourage other women to host their own party! Now I just wonder if all my friends will be exponentially happier and more relaxed in two-three weeks when our deliveries arrive.

Blanket Statement

Blankets can work wonders on stay-at-home dates. I am not sure what it is about a blanket, but being cozy beneath one just seems to invite snuggles and hand-holding.

Those early, nervous, let's-watch-a-movie dates are always awkward. And when you want to make a move but are unsure how the other person feels, it is a daunting task, no matter what your track record.

The fastest way to alleviate any awkwardness as well as actual physical distance between the two of you is to pull that blanket off the shelf and throw it over yourself. This will undoubtedly lead to the guy moving closer to "share the blanket". If he has any interest in you at all, he will want to share the blanket; even if he's not the slightest bit cold. It could be +35 inside and he would ask to share. Once you're sharing the blanket, it's almost as if you have to snuggle - it would be wrong to do anything else.

So guys - take note - when a girl asks for a blanket, she is cold but she`s probably also hoping to close the two foot gap between you.

Sleepovers

I like to have sleepovers with boys. And we really just sleep. I enjoy the cuddling and the company and the excitement of spending intimate time with someone. Sleepovers are completely accepted behaviour among girls. If I came home the next day saying I had a one-night stand I may get judged, but in this case girls justify it. After all, it's not like I hooked up, and we dismiss the night by saying 'nothing happened'.
We easily brush off the event, but would I do that with someone if I had a BF at home? Absolutely not! So that should go to show that 'something' happens during sleepovers, even if it is just cuddling!
If nothing physical happened, there are still feelings involved, often more than if you just have sex with someone. Sleeping beside someone, cuddling, talking into the wee hours of the night makes you much closer to someone and feels more reminiscent of a real relationship. Those are things people miss when they're single - being hugged, held, and talked to in the morning upon waking up. So 'stuff' did happen.

Let's Talk About Sex Baby

Actually, no, let's not talk about sex.

In case you have forgotten, I am a woman, and therefore I'm not thinking raunchy thoughts every minute of the day. Sure, women have their needs and desires, and often enjoy the physical aspect of relationships just as much as (or more than) many men. But that does not mean that we want to hear or read about these things as we're going about our day.

I have been having perfectly nice conversations with men, perhaps discussing careers, family or the plans for the weekend, when that little word sneaks it's way into the conversation. I am much more excited and interested by questions relating to my travels or favourite restaurants, than I am by discussions of sex positions or "what you want to do to me when you see me next". Sorry to be lewd but I can't believe that men actually think it's OK to casually throw this into a conversation, while I could barely force my fingers to type the phrase.

I am by no means a prude nor do I shy away from flirting - this is just plain annoying. Following up a perfectly polite, chatty text with a sexually-charged message throws girls off and makes them wonder how many other girls you're sexting with at the same time. Stick with personal, polite messages and phone conversation and I guarantee you'll get to the real thing quicker.

Closing Time

A few years ago I was totally hung up about never wanting a good night out to end. I think most of that anxiousness is due to years of build-up and anticipation for attending clubs - when it finally happened I couldn't get enough. I always felt like the night didn't get good until close to 1am, and we had to be home by 2am so that didn't make much of a night.
When I got a bit older the after-parties were the best part of my Saturday. This might have been a group outing to Perkins or someone's place nearby. Often the after party was in the guy of the moment's basement, followed by a walk (or taxi ride) of shame a few hours later. Several times I ended up in sticky situations because I didn't want the night to end. More than once, I decided to head with a friend to a post-bar party with a few guys rather than call it a night with the reassurance that I'd be back at the bar in a week. I was lucky that nothing bad ever happened, but I know that my enthusiasm for continuing a great night put me in some sticky situations to say the least. I've learned that rarely does anything better happen after 2am, especially when you don't know your fellow partiers' last names.

Shudder

The other day I had a flashback to a dirty comment made by an ex-BF of several years ago. I'm not sure what prompted the flashback but what was most disturbing was my reaction to the memory. I literally shuddered.
I remember the moment in question clearly - my BF at the time and I were at a movie screening and I was wearing a cute skirt that I was hoping he'd appreciate (I was so eager to please...). As we sat down for the movie he made a comment re: the skirt.
Even at the time I was just embarrassed, more so for him, and I felt really uncomfortable. It did not turn me on at all and in fact had the opposite effect.
This flashback reminded me of two important things. 1) I don't like dirty talk and 2) when a BF makes you shudder it's probably a pretty clear sign that things aren't meant to be.

The Rule

The longer you wait to sleep with someone, the more sure you can be that he's into you. We all know this - I've read it in more books than I can count, heard the speech from more responsible friends, and observed the results of anxious behaviour in my less-responsible friends. As annoying and frustrating as this 'rule' can be, it's totally true. There are obviously the exceptions to the 'rule', but there are several situations, not to be discussed now, that I have witnessed that prove this point.
Girls really do tend to get attached after sex, and guys usually just get what they want. I think somewhere along the way, women's lib took a wrong turn, making girls think it is OK to 'use' guys for sex. I have witnessed very few times when this really works, even though girls have spent hours trying to convince me it is the case. Proof in point - if it did work, why are you spending two hours the next day telling me how happy you are that you're just sleeping together and not in a relationship? If you really were happy, you'd be skipping along, enjoying the memories of last night's activities while moving forward with your life.
Just remember when you start dating someone - waiting for 5 or 6 dates before sleeping together is not a big feat, it should be the norm. It seems that today, girls are proud, or feel almost prudish, when they wait a few weeks to hook up. It's crazy to think that we give this up soooo easily!