I wonder how long it takes of being with a nice, reliable, trust-worthy guy to stop bad worrying about sketchy behaviour. Maybe those thoughts never go away, especially for someone like me who is a Queen of Scenario Development (thanks for that Mom).
Here's a favourite of mine - I phone a guy (be it a BF, random, date, friend who I'm not-so-secretly interested in) and it rings once and goes to voicemail. Over-analyzing leads me to consider the fact that if his phone were out of range or turned off, it wouldn't ring at all. Conversely, if he just missed the call it would ring the standard 4-5 times before switching to voicemail. So, he must have purposely ignored my call. Great. To build on that, I wonder if he's with another girl and discreetly shutting his phone off to avoid suspicion. Or even worse, he and the girl (of course she's super hot) have a good chuckle over me calling him when he's doing something 'wrong'.
Wow...as I read that I understand how whacked-out I sound. But I challenge any of you to tell me that you've never had doubts or created scenarios like that. Of course I don't do it all the time, and the longer I date a good person the less frequently these thoughts arise, but they're still there. You'd think I'd be a skinny, non-eating, chain-smoking stress ball with those kinds of thoughts. Nope...still eating.
This is great! I have totally been there, done that. When I started dating my boyfriend I found myself having these thoughts ALL the time. One day I shared them with a co-worker (who was getting married in a few weeks - therefore in a longterm relationship). Her response was "Ahh how I don't miss those days of over-analyzing." It definitely made me realize that it's "normal" to have these thoughts - even this great relationship (hers) had experienced something similar and it had passed. It gave me hope. It makes sense though, when we're in that trying to get to know someone stage, before we can predict their next move with any sort of certainty, anything can happen, and being girls our minds take it there....
ReplyDeleteThankfully after a few years with the same guy I look back and those scenarios don't seem to happen in my head much anymore...however, that's not to say never ;)