What's the verdict on being friends with an ex? It seems like a conversation for the ages, and I've heard opinions on it from almost everyone I know. When I was younger I managed to remain friends with a lot of exes, thanks mostly to a) I was pretty well over it and probably the one who broke it off or b) I'd already begun dating someone else who, at the time, seemed to be hotter and more fun or c) I still enjoyed the time I spent with them and didn't want them out of my life.
In later years, as the typical bad-boy type entered my life, I tried to stay friends but it was a totally unhealthy situation. I obviously still liked them, even though I wouldn't admit it (like I was fooling so many people) and every few outings would end with me in tears wondering (sometimes to myself, or on the more unfortunate nights, aloud to them) what was so wrong with me that they didn't want to still date me. I'm shuddering at the memories.
So, now that I'm older and wiser (?) I really don't know if it's possible. When I think of it objectively, I have one ex (of many) who I'm friends with. Legitimate, good-natured, I really want the best for him, but don't want him, friends. We broke up about 7 years ago, and now live in different cities. We grab a beer most times I'm in town, and catch up through email every month or two. Friends. Other than that, I've cut most exes out of my life. There was too much jealousy, sadness, or uncertainty, that was just getting in the way of my life. My final thoughts on the matter are that you can't always hope to be friends, and it's actually the rarity that it works out. In many cases you never should have been friends to begin with, and those people are meant to stay as exes.
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