I've recently had arguments with a few friends over platonic friends (of the opposite sex). Do they exist? Can guys and girls really JUST be friends? Does one sex have an ulterior motive in the relationship?
I have a couple of really close guy friends. We've been friends for years, and never had any sketchy encounters or situations. We've even slept in the same bed, when intoxicated, and still maintained our pillow barrier. One of them even invented "the flop", where he could strategically flip over when I was beside him, without coming close to touching me. That might be a bit extreme, but my point is we've been friends through thick and thin, bfs and gfs, and I hope we will always be there for each other.
My theory is friends who are friends b/c you dated and things didn't work out, or you hooked up when you were drunk, or you think they're hot...are not platonic friends. I know a lot of girls have plenty of these 'friends'. And maybe nothing at all will ever happen, but the fact that you want it to, means the relationship isn't innocent.
People have made the argument that when you are in a serious relationship with someone else, it's OK to have friends of the opposite sex, because there's no 'chance of anything happening' or basically no pressure. But is it fair to your significant other? Are they jealous, or does it cause them a lot of stress when you spend time with your friend? If that's the case, is that fair to you? No one wants to date a super jealous person!
If neither of you are in a relationship, the problem could be either a) one person wants to 'take things to the next level' or b) you both want to, you try it out, it doesn't work, and then there goes the friendship.
I can argue this all day (obv)...I'm happy to hear your thoughts and opinions on this matter.
See when Harry met Sally :) I have mixed feelings on this, and I wonder if i'm one of those friends you refer to above...haha.
ReplyDeleteI have to say at first thought, i was against the notion of feeling you have to "give up" a platonic friendship, or part of a friendship, when you are with someone. But in all fairness, I have yet to be in a position where i am with someone serious enough who may question this friendship, and i can respect when i do date someone serious, they may question it because 100% platonic friendships are rare. The beauty of having such an amazing 100% platonic friendship, is that when it comes to each other's b/f and g/f's, we respect each other and understand that we will always be friends, even if we only see each other every month or two. That's when you know its a true friendship :)
ReplyDelete-Tara